I know Valentine’s Day has already passed but that’s not what this is all about. I’ve been trying to help a friend through a really tough time. She is stuck in a really bad relationship. She is with a man that says that he loves her one minute and then tells her he hates her the next. He has choked her and physically restrained her. He also has loaded guns in the house. He uses the Word of God as a sword against her and makes her think that she is the crazy one. She catches him in lie after lie. Then he asks for forgiveness, which she gives him, and the cycle starts all over again. This has been going on for the last five years. She has a child with this man and she desperately wants her family to be together.
She recently caught him in another lie and found inappropriate pictures of women she knows on his phone. He tells her that he wouldn’t cheat on her or do all of these things to her if she didn’t cause him to do them. That’s a bunch of hooey!! However, he has beat her down with his words for many years and she doesn’t feel valued or worth anything. He continually reminds her of all of her faults and sins of her past. She knows about God and is now turning to Him for guidance. FINALLY! We recently moved her out of his home and she is safely in an apartment of her own with her child. Let me tell you ladies, that was a really stressful day. Working in the profession that I work, I know that when a woman is leaving her abuser, it is the most dangerous time.
I’ve spent months praying for her and texting her with words of encouragement. The Lord reminded me of this passage of scripture:
1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
I wanted her to know what true love really looks like. If her boyfriend truly loved her, it wouldn’t look like what she has been experiencing these past five years but would look more like 1 Corinthians 13.
My prayer for this woman and any other woman that is going through this type of situation is that they will turn to the One who has true love for them. Love is not abusive or manipulative. Love is not dangled like a carrot and used as a tool against you. Love is good and nurturing. Love is uplifting and encouraging.
I will continue to pray for her and her situation. I will continue to encourage her to seek guidance through the scriptures and counseling. If you find yourself in a situation similar to this, I encourage you, as well, to seek God. Find a good Christian counselor that can help you work through the gunk in your life. If you feel unworthy or beaten down by life, seek someone’s help. God is there for you and has equipped helpers for you. Ladies, you are not alone! You are not forgotten! You are valued and have worth. Rejoice in your salvation!
1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome (her),”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.